Kiat Mencari Jodoh

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alhikmah.ac.id – Allah telah menciptakan manusia berpasang-pasangan, supaya muncul suatu ketenangan, kesenangan, ketenteraman, kedamaian dana kebahagiaan. Hal ini tentu saja menyebabkan setiap laki-laki dan perempuan mendambakan pasangan hidup yang memang merupakan fitrah manusia, apalagi pernikahan itu merupakan ketetapan Ilahi dan dalam sunnah Rasul ditegaskan bahwa “Nikah adalah Sunnahnya”. Oleh karena itu Dinul Islam mensyariatkan dijalinnya pertemuan antara laki-laki dan perempuan dan selanjutnya mengarahkan pertemuan tersebut sehingga terlaksananya suatu pernikahan.

Namun dalam kenyataannya, untuk mencari pasangan yang sesuai tidak selamanya mudah. Hal ini berkaitan dengan permasalahan jodoh. Memang perjodohan itu sendiri suatu hal yang ghaib dan sulit diduga, kadang-kadang pada sebagian orang mudah sekali datangnya, dan bagi yang lain amat sulit dan susah. Bahkan ada kalanya sampai tua seseorang belum menikah juga.

Fenomena beberapa tahun akhir-akhir ini, kita melihat betapa banyaknya muslimah-muslimah yang menunggu kedatangan jodoh, sehingga tanpa terasa usia mereka semakin bertambah, sedangkan para musliminnya, bukannya tidak ada, mereka secara ma’isyah belum berani maju untuk melangkahkan kakinya menuju mahligai rumah tangga yang mawaddah wa rahmah. Kekhawatiran jelas tampak, di tengah-tengah perekonomian yang semakin terpuruk, sulit bagi mereka untuk memutuskan segera menikah.

Gejala ini merupakan salah satu dari problematika dakwah dewasa ini. Dampaknya kaum muslimah semakin membludak, usia mereka pelan namun pasti beranjak semakin naik.

Untuk mencari solusinya, dengan tetap berpegangan kepada syariat Islam yang memang diturunkan untuk kemaslahatan manusia, beberapa kiat mencari jodoh dapat dilakukan :

1. Yang paling utama dan lebih utama adalah memohonkannya pada Sang Khalik, karena Dialah yang menciptakan manusia berpasang-pasangan (QS.4:1). Permohonan kepada Allah SWT dengan meminta jodoh yang diridhoiNya, merupakan kebutuhan penting manusia karena kesuksesan manusia mendapatkan jodoh berpengaruh besar dalam kehidupan dunia dan akhirat seseorang.

2. Melalui mediator, antara lain:

a. Orang tua. Seorang muslimah dapat meminta orang tuanya untuk mencarikannya jodoh dengan menyebut kriteria yang ia inginkan. Pada masa Nabi SAW, beliau dan para sahabat-sahabatnya segera menikahkan anak perempuan. Sebagaimana cerita Fatimah binti Qais, bahwa Nabi SAW bersabda padanya : Kawinlah dengan Usamah. Lalu aku kawin dengannya, maka Allah menjadikan kebaikan padanya dan keadaanku baik dan menyenangkan dengannya (HR. Muslim).

b. Guru ngaji (murabbiyah). Jika memang sudah mendesak untuk menikah, seorang muslimah tidak ada salahnya untuk minta tolong kepada guru ngajinya agar dicarikan jodoh yang sesuai dengannya. Dengan keyakinan bahwa jodoh bukanlah di tangan guru ngaji. Ini adalah salah satu upaya dalam mencari jodoh.

c. Sahabat dekat. Kepadanya seorang muslimah bisa mengutarakan keinginannya untuk dicarikan jodoh. Sebagai gambaran, kita melihat perjodohan antara Nabi SAW dengan Khadijah RA. Diawali dengan ketertarikan Khadijah RA kepada pribadi beliau yang pada saat itu berstatus karyawan pada perusahaan bisnis yang dipegang oleh Khadijah RA. Melalui Nafisah sebagai mediatornya akhirnya Nabi SAW menikahi Khadijah RA..

d. Biro Jodoh. Biro jodoh yang Islami dapat memenuhi keinginan seorang muslimah untuk menikah. Dikatakan Islami karena prosedur yang dilakukan sesuai dengan syariat Islam. Salah satu di antaranya adalah Club Ummi Bahagia.

3. Langsung, dalam arti calon sudah dikenal terlebih dahulu dan ia berakhlaq Islami menurut kebanyakan orang-orang yang dekat dengannya (temannya atau pihak keluarganya). Namun pacaran tetap dilarang oleh Islam. Jika masing-masing sudah cocok maka segera saja melamar dan menikah. Kadang kala yang tertarik lebih dahulu adalah muslimahnya, maka ia dapat menawarkan dirinya kepada laki-laki saleh yang ia senangi tersebut (dalam hal ini belum lazim di tengah-tengah masyarakat kita). Seorang sahabiat pernah datang kepada Nabi SAW dan menawarkan dirinya pada beliau. Maka seorang wanita mengomentarinya, “Betapa sedikit rasa malunya.” Ayahnya yang mendengar komentar putrinya itu menjawab, “Dia lebih baik dari pada kamu, dia menginginkan Nabi SAW dan menawarkan dirinya kepada beliau.”

Sebuah cerita bagus dikemukakan oleh Abdul Halim Abu Syuqqoh pengarang buku Tahrirul Mar’ah, bahwa ada seorang temannya yang didatangi oleh seorang wanita untuk mengajaknya menikah. Temannya itu merasa terkejut dan heran, maka wanita itu bertanya, “Apakah aku mengajak Anda untuk berbuat haram? Aku hanya mengajak Anda untuk kawin sesuai dengan sunnah Allah dan Rasul-Nya”. Maka terjadilah pernikahan setelah itu.

Semua upaya tersebut hendaknya dilakukan satu persatu dengan rasa sabar dan tawakal tidak kenal putus asa. Di samping itu seorang muslimah sambil menunggu sebaiknya ia mengaktualisasikan kemampuannya. Lakukan apa yang dapat dilakukan sehingga bermanfaat bagi masyarakat dan dakwah. Jika seorang muslimah kurang pergaulan, bagaimana ia dapat mengenal orang lain yang ingin menikahinya.

Barangkali perlu mengadakan evaluasi terhadap kriteria pasangan hidup yang ia inginkan. Bisa jadi standar ideal yang ia harapkan menyebabkan ia terlalu memilih-milih. Menikah dengan orang hanif (baik keagamaannya) merupakan salah satu alternatif yang perlu diperhatikan sebagai suatu tantangan dakwah baginya.

Akhirnya, semua usaha yang telah dilakukan diserahkan kembali kepada Allah SWT. Ia Maha Mengetahui jalan kehidupan kita dan kepadaNyalah kita berserah diri. Wallahu A’lam bishowab. (dkw)

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